So earlier on in the week I wrote a post about how the toddler stage was so much easier than the baby stage and how I was enjoying it.Well this weekend, the saying ‘spoke tosoon’ comes to mind. Who did I think I was smug bi***!Obviously there are moments when you find it harder and easier, but since Friday Joshua has driven me to the brink of insanity.
I think I’ve called him every name under the sun, cried in a corner, locked myself in the bathroom so he’ll leave me alone, bribed him with chocolate and contemplated only having one child. All this in 48 hours. From the moment he wakes up at 6/6.15 his mission in life is to destroy everything and moan. He moans for food 24/7 so I feel like I am constantly feeding him…I’m sure he’ll weigh 10 stone at 5! 😭When I shout at him for throwing and smashing things or generally being naughty, he laughs in my face! Like an actual smirk! I contemplate leaving the house and never coming back. I’m not sure if saying that makes me a bad mum! I know other mums must feel like this…well I hope they do.
I am constantly battling with myself and thinking I’m a terrible mum because some of the time I don’t like Josh! I love him fiercely but not sure I like him 24/7!
He has also entered the tantrum phase. He screams and throws himself on the floor when he doesn’t get his way. If I put him on time out he just screams and throws things over the stair gate and down the stairs and destroys his room. I think I need that super nanny!!I’m not sure you ever learn to deal with tantrums….hopefully this stage will be over soon, not sure how much my soul can take.When I moan to my partner, he says ‘you wanted to be a mummy’ I resist the urge to punch him in the throat.I think I’m surrounded by men who like to wind me up. 😩 When I look around I see so many well behaved children….the ones like Joshua must be hiding somewhere!!The hitting phase- yesterday we almost had a fist fight after Joshua decided he wanted to hit me. I thought how am I letting this child control me!! Reading this you may think he sounds like the devil child. He isn’t really, he amazing…but he’s naughty. If I go to someone else’s house I spend 90% of the time shouting no. Honestly it’s easier to stay at home, if I go out and he plays up, my anxiety levels are through the roof. Today I think my partner sensed I was going mad so offered to take me shopping to buy me something to cheer me up. He’s a good gem (sometimes 😂) We forgot the stroller (rookie mistake) I went into Zara, as soon as I got through the door Josh threw himself on the floor. The shop assistant; ‘omg what is wrong with him’ me; ‘he’s having a tantrum’ shop assistant ‘oh no poor him is he ok’. I resist the urge to punch her also.
I’m going out tonight so it will be nice to let my hair down and shake my ass with my partner ….but I have to be up at 6am with Josh so….I’ll let you know how I’m feeling then. I maybe rocking in a corner. Please note I said ‘I have to be up’ my partner will stay in bed and pretend he doesn’t hear him…I guess each stage has pros and cons….I just wish children came with instructions! 😭😩